Sunday, 5 February 2017

Tip For The Ladies

My girl and I almost broke up. I know I don't post much but I have a story for y'all today.

 My girlfriend almost left me last week. Why you ask? Because I was liking other girls' pictures on Instagram. Mind you, I don't know or ever even spoke to most of these women but she apparently still considers them a threat to our relationship.

Anyway, as I said, I was liking some pictures of some hotties today.. the usual Instagram thots and the occasional girl I actually knew. Overall, I may have liked about 15 different women's pictures in about a 5 minute span (I was double tapping like a mawfucka).

A few minutes later I get I message from my wonderful girlfriend who I love so much. She said nothing, it was a screenshot of the "people I follow" tab on Instagram showing all the pics I just like.

It probably didn't help that I quoted a Kevin Gates lyric where he said, "some may consider this a problem, I easily fall in love." But that was only to mess with her.

She didn't like this very much. She was not amused; not even a little bit. I know because she didn't respond to my messages for three days. I had to go to her house to get her to talk to me.

I spoke to her parents and they laughed it off. Well, her dad was the one who really laughed but they allowed me to go talk to her. She was convinced I was talking to at least one of the girls and asked to see my phone. I gave it to her no problem; she found nothing because there was nothing to find.

Moral of the story ladies:

 Men look. We will always look. Just because we look doesn't mean we'll touch. I have never or will ever try to get at any other woman while with my girlfriend.

Now, if a woman tries to get at me that's a different story (joking).

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

That Time I Almost Died

Damnnnnnnn I completely forgot about this blog! But guess who's back! Hopefully to stay.

I guess I'll just make a post whenever I feel like it. I'm not a blogger lol. Anyway, I was sharing a story with some buddies of mine last night and that's when I remembered about this blog. So I think from now on I'll probably share stories about my life and shit whenever it comes up and if I disappear for a few months, don't crucify me. It just means I got nothing to share.

The date is July 16, 2008 and summer is in full swing. I had just turned 16 and just started partying. My belief about parties before this date was that they were all like Van Wilder or American Pie. This has no bearing on the story, I just felt like throwing that in there.

Anyway, the party was a college party with a bunch late teens and early to mid twenties people. The girls were hot but they weren't giving me any love. Maybe I looked young or was acting young - I don't know. All I know is that I got no action that night and remained a virgin for another year.

The party was great but after drinking a ton, I was in the mood to cause some trouble. The music was turned down really low and some people were leaving while others were still socializing. In this small group, there was this guy that was talking really loudly and just annoying me. Let's call him James. Worse, all the girls were laughing so I may have been a little jealous. I asked him to shut it and he gave me a death stare but I didn't care (look, I rhymed).

He kept talking and I told him to shut up again. He ignored me. Now I looked weak to all the girls, I had to show that I meant business. So I walked up to him and gave him a small nudge on the shoulder. He turned around and gave me a push that sent me flying.

 I was embarrassed.

I wasn't going out like that, so I took the Corona bottle and I had and smashed it over his head. He fell but somehow he got right back up like The Terminator, that's when I knew I was in trouble. Not because he got back up, but because 5 of his football buddies now had their eyes set on me. I also tried to dance with one of their girlfriends earlier, so I knew this wasn't going to end well so I bolted.

 I thought I got away until I was walking home (I lived about a quarter mile away). A red Mustang pulled up beside me with 4 hulking dudes inside. This was not going to end well.. and I was not going to outrun a Ford Mustang.

Have you ever seen the movie Baby Boy when those boys had to take the beating because Pea had a gun? Yeah it was very similar for me. [youtube] Yes they had a gun.