Sunday, 5 February 2017

Tip For The Ladies

My girl and I almost broke up. I know I don't post much but I have a story for y'all today.

 My girlfriend almost left me last week. Why you ask? Because I was liking other girls' pictures on Instagram. Mind you, I don't know or ever even spoke to most of these women but she apparently still considers them a threat to our relationship.

Anyway, as I said, I was liking some pictures of some hotties today.. the usual Instagram thots and the occasional girl I actually knew. Overall, I may have liked about 15 different women's pictures in about a 5 minute span (I was double tapping like a mawfucka).

A few minutes later I get I message from my wonderful girlfriend who I love so much. She said nothing, it was a screenshot of the "people I follow" tab on Instagram showing all the pics I just like.

It probably didn't help that I quoted a Kevin Gates lyric where he said, "some may consider this a problem, I easily fall in love." But that was only to mess with her.

She didn't like this very much. She was not amused; not even a little bit. I know because she didn't respond to my messages for three days. I had to go to her house to get her to talk to me.

I spoke to her parents and they laughed it off. Well, her dad was the one who really laughed but they allowed me to go talk to her. She was convinced I was talking to at least one of the girls and asked to see my phone. I gave it to her no problem; she found nothing because there was nothing to find.

Moral of the story ladies:

 Men look. We will always look. Just because we look doesn't mean we'll touch. I have never or will ever try to get at any other woman while with my girlfriend.

Now, if a woman tries to get at me that's a different story (joking).

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

That Time I Almost Died

Damnnnnnnn I completely forgot about this blog! But guess who's back! Hopefully to stay.

I guess I'll just make a post whenever I feel like it. I'm not a blogger lol. Anyway, I was sharing a story with some buddies of mine last night and that's when I remembered about this blog. So I think from now on I'll probably share stories about my life and shit whenever it comes up and if I disappear for a few months, don't crucify me. It just means I got nothing to share.

The date is July 16, 2008 and summer is in full swing. I had just turned 16 and just started partying. My belief about parties before this date was that they were all like Van Wilder or American Pie. This has no bearing on the story, I just felt like throwing that in there.

Anyway, the party was a college party with a bunch late teens and early to mid twenties people. The girls were hot but they weren't giving me any love. Maybe I looked young or was acting young - I don't know. All I know is that I got no action that night and remained a virgin for another year.

The party was great but after drinking a ton, I was in the mood to cause some trouble. The music was turned down really low and some people were leaving while others were still socializing. In this small group, there was this guy that was talking really loudly and just annoying me. Let's call him James. Worse, all the girls were laughing so I may have been a little jealous. I asked him to shut it and he gave me a death stare but I didn't care (look, I rhymed).

He kept talking and I told him to shut up again. He ignored me. Now I looked weak to all the girls, I had to show that I meant business. So I walked up to him and gave him a small nudge on the shoulder. He turned around and gave me a push that sent me flying.

 I was embarrassed.

I wasn't going out like that, so I took the Corona bottle and I had and smashed it over his head. He fell but somehow he got right back up like The Terminator, that's when I knew I was in trouble. Not because he got back up, but because 5 of his football buddies now had their eyes set on me. I also tried to dance with one of their girlfriends earlier, so I knew this wasn't going to end well so I bolted.

 I thought I got away until I was walking home (I lived about a quarter mile away). A red Mustang pulled up beside me with 4 hulking dudes inside. This was not going to end well.. and I was not going to outrun a Ford Mustang.

Have you ever seen the movie Baby Boy when those boys had to take the beating because Pea had a gun? Yeah it was very similar for me. [youtube] Yes they had a gun.

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

What Failing A Sports Quiz Taught Me Today

So today I was trolling the Internet doing all types of random tests because I have no life, and came across some sports trivia questions. Even though I didn't do very well, I learned a whoooooole lot and I firmly believe you must learn from every experience and failure you have in life. But, Zen Master Calvin isn't in today so I'll save the life lecture for another day.

Anyway, as I was saying: I learned a lot today so I've decided this next blog post will be about 10 things I learned from doing the sports trivia questions. If any of these facts are wrong, go complain to The Sports Truth (the guys who did the quiz), because I didn't check the validity of any of the answers even though some were a tad surprising. When I was done, I just kept it moving, exploring the vastness of the internet.

I've noticed I've started to stray from the main topic of this post so here goes, 10 Random Sporting Facts:
  1. Even though baseball has and will probably always be considered America's favourite past time, the most popular sport in the country is actually football. 
  2. Prior to the 1950’s, passing was the only means of ball movement in basketball.
  3. Basketball is the national sport of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.
  4. Wilt Chamberlain could dunk from the free throw line if he started gearing up his jump from the top of the circle. This is why both feet must remain behind the line on a free throw attempt. 
  5. Jackie Robinson was the first professional athlete to have his number universally retired across an entire league. 
  6. Olympic medals are composed of mainly silver and copper at 93% and 6% respectively.
  7. Four MLB players have been traded for themselves before. Yes I said that correct. The first was Harry Chiti who was traded to the New York Mets by the Cleveland Indians on April 25, 1962 for a "player to be named later." After 15 horrible performances, the Mets decided to fulfill their end of the original deal and send the player they promised to complete the transaction. The player sent was Harry Chiti. 
  8. The term soccer was not made up by Americans. It originated in England, first appearing in the 1880s as an Oxford "-er" abbreviation of the word "association," as in association football, which was the original name of the sport. 
  9.  If Michael Phelps was his own country, he'd be 35th all time on the gold medal lists.
  10.  Wayne Gretzky broke the all-time single-season goals record by 16 goals and the points record by 65 as a 20-year-old on the Edmonton Oilers. He isn't called The Great One for no reason. 
That's it for today, folks! If you know of any good sports trivia sites, let me know in the comments or shoot me a message!

what i learned from sports quizzes i did today

Kobe Dropping 81 on the Raptors

The greatest individual performance I've ever witness.

Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Kobe and Artest Scuffle back in 09

Boy, get out my face..

Lol one of my favourite pictures of all time.

kobe bryant ron artest nba fight

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Holly Holm Knocks Out Ronda Rousey In The Second Round

Okay, so I've been gone for a little while but now I'm back! My first post upon my return will be about the beatdown UFC prodigy Ronda Rousey got at the hands of former professional boxer Holly Holm last night at UFC 193.


Let me first start by saying I'm not a huge UFC fan. I'm not a boxing fan either but I like boxing a bit more than UFC. However, the only time I like boxing is when the fighters are aggressive in their bout so by logical deduction, you can assume that I'm not a Floyd Mayweather fan.

The reason I bring up Mayweather is because although he wasn't in the fight, he too earned a W, thanks to Holly Holm.

Ronda Rousey and Floyd have been having sort of a quasi feud/rivalry as the 2 most dominant fighters in their respective genders. But last night, Rousey got "holm-schooled" and even though it was only one fight, the way she was outclassed was in no way indicative of a dominant fighter.

The Fight

The fight itself was quick and one sided. How one sided? Only one fighter's face looked different at the end. Holly Holm used her superior kickboxing skills to keep Rousey away from her, therefore not allowing her any real opportunity to employ her world renown judo techniques. Holm did so well at keeping Rousey at a distance that she was only taken down once in the roughly 6 minute long fight. And the one time she got taken down, she quickly recovered and Rousey never got another chance as she quickly lost her composure and her balance due to multiple hits to the face. Ronda lost her balance numerous times during the fight but the final time to a knock out by the opportunistic Holm.

The Knockout

Around 50 seconds into the second round, Holm caught Rousey with a straight left for the 587th time and that was the beginning of the very rapid end. The straight disturbed the little balance Rousey had left, and although she broke her fall and attempted to get back to her feet to keep going, Holm quickly delivered a left kick to the temple which sent her opponent crashing and essentially signaling the end of the match.

Funny enough, over a month ago, in an interview with Jimmy Fallon, Rousey predicted how the fight could potentially go for the most part. Her only error was naming herself as the victor:

Monday, 13 July 2015

I love back dimples

I have an incredible weakness for back dimples. I don't know where it came from or if it will ever go away but I think they are so aesthetically pleasing. I catch myself seeking them out from time to time like a back dimple fiend. But whatever.

They're incredible and I love them.